If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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