i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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