Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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