Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
