i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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