We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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