turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
where are my eyebrows?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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