He told me they were just razor bumps!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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