When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
