Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
