Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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