Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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