i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
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Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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