if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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