idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
