In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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