I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
