Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
