how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
