hotel room ftw
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
