"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
