and i looked up. we had an audience...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
