Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
