Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
