FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
