I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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