Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
