I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
is it fun? or sober?
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