I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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