So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize