dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
