my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
