there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
