R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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