11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Porn is love you can see.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
