just come out here and I will go home with you...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i love accidental penises.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
