I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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