dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
