Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
