he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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