You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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