Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
