just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize