I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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