Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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