Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
