It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
