never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
