Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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