I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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