All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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