I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
