He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
