I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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