Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
