I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
