Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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