You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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