Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
