I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
