dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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