no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
