Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize